I must confess. I'm....

"We have a someone new here today. Would you like to introduce yourself?"

"Hello, my name is Collin. And for about the past 30 years, I've been addicted.... Addicted to being Right."

(Responding in unison) "Hi Collin."

Some time ago I saw a video on Facebook of a man talking as fast as the Micro Machines guy trying to disprove that the Bible is against homosexual marriage. I found myself wanting to respond to some holes I found in his theories, but then a couple words into my response I thought to myself, "Is my response, my 'rightness', going to bring life to this situation or will it ultimately dig the canyon of separation deeper of those on opposite ends of this subject?" The person who posted this is very close to me. Ultimately I'd be responding to that person, not the Micro Machines imitator. And in my response, is there a maturity between both of us to agree to disagree without any judgement the next time we speak? I can answer for me, not yet....

(Disclaimer: this is not a blog to discuss the subject of homosexual marriage or give my opinion on the subject.)

I have to admit it, I've spent a lot of time and energy (and identity) into being right or proving others wrong. To be completely honest, it's incredibly tiring! Even more than the tiring fact, I've likely destroyed relationships on the altar of being right. How often have we all done this? We spend time and energy trying to be right, all the while killing a relationship. On a different occasion I saw comment (on Facebook again) stating, "Have you won the argument if someone doesn't respond but 'unfriends' you?" My thought, is there really a winning situation when our egos are so bloated we're willing to, and proud of, losing a relationship at the cost of being right? Who really wins there?

Now I do believe that there is ultimate Truth, and that Truth is hidden in GOD and must sought out. But what I'm trying to get across is that I'm not sure it's our job to prove 'right' if it's not bringing life to a situation. Sure, I could argue a point about what I believe is right about many divisive subjects, but without a foundation of love being built beneath a relationship I only continue to divide, separate and build further the ego of both myself and the defendant. A discussion can quickly turn to a battle field of win/lose mentality. When one person wins and the other loses, it only brings death to both by building the ego of one and bringing shame to the other. (That was hard to say for someone who loves winning). I can, and have, argue we my wife and be right about our argument, but will me being right bring life to our marriage? No! Ultimately I'll feel superior, she won't feel loved and it will be a chasm in our marriage. 

We have a saying in our church, "It's not about right and wrong, it's about life and death." It seems Jesus was this way with His teachings. He would've been right not to speak to the Samitan woman by the well, and she tried her hardest to be right and prove His actions wrong. Instead He brought life to a situation that clearly needed. The Pharisees were, by the Law, right in many of things they believed and did, but Jesus called them a 'brood of vipers' because their 'rightness' (not righteousness) was bringing death to those around them. As Jesus brought life to those all around Him, ultimate Truth began to be revealed and recognized. It's interesting that most of the western church spends more time defending it's 'rightness' than Jesus did, and He was the epitomy of Truth!!!! 

How about we all admit it, our egos have one time or another made us addicted to being right. Heck, I can even say I'm being right about not being right! It's a vicious cycle. Regardless, let's all enter into rehab and next time we're approached with a situation to argue, let's ask ourselves, "will my argument bring life to the situation, or am I trying to be right to feed my ego?" I personally have decided I will only discuss a point if the discussion is face to face, and we can both agree to disagree with no judgement. Like I said, I'm recovering, but I'm walking towards life.